Thursday, August 30, 2007

Embracing my To Do list

I'm just wondering if maybe I acknowledge and embrace my "to do" list, maybe it will actually get done.

Tomorrow I need to:

- Call my POD(a doula term) and arrange childcare for the upcoming births that I will be attending.
- Call another doula who I will be apprenticing with next month.
- Email another potential client.
- Get the kids ready to go spend time at the cabin with friends.
- Put all our food away in our pantry that is finally finished.
- Chores, bleh!
- Arrange a post-partem visit for another client.
- Drop off and pick up my kiddies from school.
- Somehow get my other two kiddies to take naps inbetween all of the aforementioned to-do's
- Manage to feed myself(which hasn't been easy task lately) and do this all with a smile on my face. Yeah, right!

We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Weird dreams

Last night hit me with a doozy of two odd dreams. The kind that make you wonder why? Why did I dream about this person? And what do I need to learn from it? First, I am a firm believer that dreaming is either a way of your subconscious working out a problem, something needing to manifest itself(because everything is symbolic in one way or the other), or a way of receiving answers to some of life's difficult questions. And second, I think last nights dreams had to do with my high school reunion because quite of few people from my past were in it.

It's funny, when I dream I think I get a glimpse of the true me. The person inside that I know is just witty, daring, spontaneous, and fun. The scene for both dreams happened on the campus of where I went to college. I thought it was interesting that while I saw college alumni's, I saw some high school alumni's that I know didn't go there. I was schmoozing with my old college cheer squad, we decided to crash a fraternity party. I stole something important, it was like a mascot of some sort. I was caught sneeking out and started running back towards my dorm. The guys were in pursuit. (I have this odd delight in being chased in dreams, it makes me feel like I'm back in elementary playing tag.....ah, that was fun!) I was eventually caught just as I got to my dorm room, the mascot taken back, and I was thrown over the shoulder of the one my high school mates(I know who it was, but no names mentioned here). The only thing I can remember saying as I was over the shoulder facing this guy's backside/rearend was something like,"Oh ______, is this the real you? You must introduce me!", followed by him hitting me hard on my backside. But then my bladder woke me up. Darn bladder! Just when things were getting interesting!

The second dream took place in my dorm room. I had retired for the night and had been asleep(in my dream) for some time when I started to feel something caress my face. It was nice. Whoever it was started kissing my cheek(yeah, I know, gross makeout dream. But really? Who doesn't love a good makeout dream? It's just taboo to write about it.) and traveled to my lips. Something was wrong, it didn't feel like my husband's kiss. I woke up from my sleep to find my ex-fiance' sitting next to me(yes, I was engaged to another man before marrying Josh. Good guy, just different views about what a marriage was supposed to be). Totally creeped out! I can't remember what was said, but I felt his intent was to rape me. He was angry at me for ending the relationship and wanted what he thought was his. I was able to push him away from me and run away again(not fun this time). Thank heaven my alarm went off. I was having a difficult time waking up from that one.

So now I'm off to locate my dream dictionary. My brain is too tired to figure these two out.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Can't believe it's been 10 years

Way back then.

How I look today. My sweet husband, Josh, sitting with me at my reunion.

Last Saturday I participated in Granger High's 10-year reunion. I participated in planning it too(a whole lot more than I thought I was going to do). It was an absolute blast! But as I was reflecting back on my senior year I felt really sad. I have so many regrets, that if I was given one wish in my whole life I'd go back to my senior year and do a whole lot of things very differently.

Things I would do different:

1) NO boyfriends. No one wants to date you when you're tied-down.

2) Play the field! There were so many guys that I had super huge crushes on. If I had the confidence that I do now I'd totally ask them out on a date.

3) Still do Drill Team. I hated the politics, but man I loved dancing!

4) Concentrate more on my academics. Seriously I would.

5) Stop being so anti-social. There were so many things that I missed out on(that I've now learned) because I spent too much time being angry at things that were out of my control.

6) Get a real job - grow up. I coached gymnastics all through out high school. It was a fun job, but considering anything other than coaching was below me. Yeah, I was a gymnastics snob. It would've been nice to get more experience outside of what I knew.

7) Have fun just being a teenager. I remember I couldn't wait to become an adult and now I really long for the days when it was only me and I could sleep in.

8) Stop being afraid of confrontations.

9) Take different classes.

10) Be a better sister and friend.

So the questions of the day are - if given one wish to go back in time, would you do it? And if so, where would you go and what 10 things would you do different?

Friday, August 24, 2007

Why finding a babysitter is a major pain!

I hate having to find a babysitter if ever I ever want to do something. I remember when I was young how I hated being asked to babysit. This feeling mostly comes from my mom's daycare. My mom has had an in-home daycare as long as I can remember. I was always resentful towards those children because when my mom had something to do(much like I have something to do today) she put my sisters and I in charge. Or guilted us into watching the kids by saying something like,"this is how I pay for you guys to do................." And often their needs came before ours. So no, I will never have a daycare just to pay for my kids extracurricular activities. I really do love my mom. She did the best she could for us considering her circumstances, but I'm doing things differently with my little family.

So I totally understand where the rejection comes from when a teen says, "no" or makes up some weird excuse. Nevertheless, I still need babysitters. I still need them so I can date my husband, so he won't feel low on my priority list. So today I can give my son's new teacher the attention she needs so that my son will be successful in school. So that I can get things done, like when I have to go into the bank or post office for a transaction that requires face-to-face interaction. Don't get me wrong, I love taking my kiddies all over with me, but sometimes it's nice when it's just me.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I think I must be the poster child for conformity. I admit it, I mostly follow the crowd when it comes to the "in" things. Especially after reading so many of my fellow alumni's blogs, it just looks like a lot of fun and a great way to get to know them again. And blogs must be "in". So here I am, joining legions in posting about my messed up life to boot!

I chose "Too Many Plates" because that's just where I am in life right now.
Too much on my plate. Right now my plates are:
- My relationship with my Heavenly Father(it needs some serious help right now).
- My husband (and I won't lie, it's not been a picnic here either)
- My 4 children (I'm a huge liar when I say I love motherhood, truth is it's a daily struggle and I'm saddened that I feel this way most days)
- My doula business (I'm very passionate about childbirth and will dedicate a blog to that later, but it's active actual business that many people consider a hobby....grrrr!)
- I'm the President of the Utah Friends of Midwives Association (no, I don't get paid for it but it great opportunity to help me get out of my comfort zone and talk with intimidating people)
- I've been homeschooling my oldest son who is a High Functioning Autistic (that's another blog)
- We just moved. Hate moving with a passion! And we're still cleaning up our other home.
- I just finished being on my 10-year reunion committee and will help in planning our 15-year reunion.(man, I have so many regrets from high school, but the reunion was an absolute blast!)

I have lots of other "plates" and because this is a public place these are only "plates" I feel comfortable sharing.

A little bit about my family. Josh and I have been married for 8 years. We have four kids: JA, AL, MC, and AM. Again, this is a public place and my kids are very special to me, so we'll only being using their initials. J was just diagnosed with High Functioning Autism and we've been working very diligently with him to get him where he is today. He used to fit more directly into the Autism Spectrum with more significant autistic symptoms. But JA is a total boy all over. He loves super heroes, Transformers, insects, rocks and especially nature. AL is our princess. She loves My Little Ponies, CareBears, and play makeup- what little girl doesn't? MC is our mischievious little dare-devil girl. She loves to be read to and loves to scare the wits out of me with her death defying stunts. AM is our baby. She's definitely the most high-maintenance out of all our kids. I need a lot of energy to work with her because she mostly likes to stay attached to me at all times of the day. It's exhausting.

So that me and my little family in a nut shell. I'm sure I'll much more to add to this place.