Sunday, September 30, 2007

Happy belated birthday to my little guy!

My cute son, JA, turned 7-years-old just few days ago. I still get all choked up when I think about how my little guy is growing up. He's been such a fun kid.

Jacob's birth started my journey into the world of birthing education, doulas, and midwifery. Jacob's birthing day started the day before he was born. I was getting so tired of being big and a lot of people told me walking would encourage birthing to start. We had just moved to L.A. and were living in the business apartments paid for by his work(and the best part was the maid that came once a week, heaven!). And kitty-corner from us was a mall. The walk didn't look that long, but being that big OH MY HECK! What was I thinking? But I did it, it was all for a good cause right? I got home and oh my gosh the back ache would not go away. No one told me that a back ache was a symptom of being in labor. I just decided to lay down and sleep as much as I could. Sleep was not easy either because I had PUPPPS(Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy). What a nightmare of a rash, I scratched until I bleeding. Unable to sleep, itching and scratching, I was now getting urges to pee like every five minutes. Still nothing was clicking in my pregnant brain that I was in labor. Around midnight I lost my mucous plug(eww, I know that the last word you want to hear, but it's the truth and since I'm a birth guru you may hear even more detailed words such as placenta and cervix, oh my!). Five minutes later a tiny POP. No gushing or "the flood gates hath opened", but leaking like I couldn't hold my pee in.

I labored at home as long as I thought was neccessary(I should've stayed home A LOT longer) and then we headed to the hospital around 6 a.m. I had no idea what I was in for. They hooked me up to several machines, had a very uncomfortable monitoring belt around my big belly and noone to tell me I had options. I had every right to get out of that hospital bed and walk around, to refuse an IV(even if I was Strep B positive), to refuse being "checked" every hour on the hour, every right to labor in different positions, to do so many other things. But no, the nurses just let me lay flat on my back in that stupid bed. Probably the worst thing for a laboring mother. After being checked so frequently, being rudely interrupted my mother-in-law followed by sister-in-laws who came by to participate by becoming voyeurs, learning our JA was posterior I relented and got the epidural. Yes, it's not as bad as I imagined and it did bring me relief. But I was still left on my back which doesn't help baby progress and decreases oxygen to baby because me laying on a major artery. To make matters worse the epidural STOPPED my labor progressing, which is very common I later learned. No one told me about the epidurals side effects either. That I would shake uncontrollably, that it would stop my labor(adding further more "preventions" to augment labor) and that I would birth a very sleepy, sluggish baby.

They finally started me on PIT(pitocin), which is a total monster. And because my body wasn't ready for it(it never is and don't ever let a nurse or dr tell you that pitocin is natural, it's synthetic and will never be like the real oxytocin the body puts out which is much more gentler and effective) it started stressing JA out in the womb. BABY'S DON'T LIKE PITOCIN! It's not good for them, and I'll never understand why impatient women would choose to augment labor like that(except in cases where it is medically neccessary, which I have witnessed), it's torture for mom and baby. So JA is getting stressed out, still no one is letting me move onto my side and then the dr's start coming in and threatening C-section. Finally I'm complete and pushing lasts for 45 minutes, and it was "purple pushing" where the nurse yells in your ear," 10, 9, 8, 7, 6,....!!!" So your holding your breath and depriving yourself and baby from more oxygen, meanwhile your face starts to turn red and it looks like you may pop a vein in your forehead. From start to finish, his birth was 18 hours(from the time we entered the hospital to the time he was birthed). I tore. Had I been in an optimal pushing position I wouldn't have. Most women won't tear if they're in a good position, and episiotomies should only become neccessary in the event that the woman is going to tear upward toward her clitoris. The lithotomy position(on your back with legs in the air, in a stirrup, or up behind your ears), is the WORST position to push in.

And because JA had a tinge of meconium(when baby takes a dump in utero right before birth, it can be bad, but his fluid was barely yellow) in the amniotic fluid they wouldn't let me hold him right away. I cried while the dr stitched me up, I didn't even get the chance to see him. The dr wanted to know what I was "boobin" about. I think I was crying because I was already in mourning. Mourning all the happy moments in birth that should've happened, mourning my lack of participation because I felt like an observer, mourning how my body had been treated. Nothing about what I had gone through was sacred. Then in an exasperated-give-her-what-she-wants voice he asks the pediatric nurses to hurry and bundle JA up so I could hold him.

FINALLY, in my arms! I'm in love! He is the most beautiful baby boy I've ever seen! My joy lasted 20 minutes because then the nurses insisted on taking him back to the nursery to get under a warmer so he could maintain his body temperature. Had I known I would've slapped him next to me, skin-to-skin and started nursing. I had just been through a workout, I was plenty warm for the both us. Sheesh, isn't that a survival tip they teach you in Boyscouts? Plus I needed that bonding time that was so rudely stolen from both of us as soon as he was born. But no, they whisked him away to the nursery for 6 HOURS! I was furious. In that time, they bathed him, took off all that good vernix that keeps baby's skin moisturized(without it baby's skin cracks and dries up and baby lotion just doesnt' cut it), gave him a bottle, do you think he wanted to breastfeed? NOPE!!! Not to mention that when I did get him the rude nurse wouldn't give me a moment to just snuggle with my newborn, no she wanted us to breastfeed and her idea of helping the process along was grabbing my breast and shoving it into a sleepy baby's mouth. Neither of us were very happy. I was greatful when she left, I was greatful to snuggle my baby skin-to-skin, it felt natural, it felt right.

The next morning HOLY SORENESS BATMAN! Shaking from the epidural had left me sore all over, I literally couldn't move. The epidural site hurt so much. The hospital food was horrible. Josh had taken the day to spend with his mom and sisters, leaving me all alone with my fluxuating hormones and a newborn. Thanks! Reality really hit me when JA had his first bowel movement of meconium. The nurses wouldn't let him room-in with me, so they would bring him back and forth from my room to the nursery. Well, he had this messy diaper and I kept wondering why they kept bringing him back to me with a messy diaper? It. Hit. Me. I'm the mom and I have to change the diaper. Whoa! Yeah, it's funny now.

I left the hospital the next day thinking that IF I had another baby there had to be another way, a better way. And there was! Lo and behold I was knocked up again six months later and I'll share AL's birth story on her December birthday. Maybe now you can see why I'm so passionate about childbirth and why I wanted to be a birthing doula.

But now I have this truly beautiful boy of 7. He is a joy to me. JA I feel so blessed that you came to our family, you have brought us so much happiness and have taught us so much. You helped me find my passion. I love your spirit and zest for life. I love how you love rocks, insects, and are sooo interested in the human body. I love how mechanical you are with your hands and how you want find out how everything works by taking it apart and putting it back together. I love how your kiss me and your sisters goodbye when you leave for school. I love your sensitivity and your intuitiveness. I feel so blessed to have this Crystal child. Thankyou for coming to me.


I'll post some pictures later of his birthday party(because I'm quite proud of them). We did a homemade "Transformers" birthday party, since that is JA's super hero of choice these days. I downloaded Optimus Prime wallpaper, cropped it and added wording with our Printshop and printed them out on photo paper. Bought a record-shaped pinata, took if it's decor and cover it with black and silver(foil) to make a Decepticon face. I found some Transformers plates and cups at the party store, Transformers colored ballons(blue & red for Optimus Prime, black and yellow for Bumblebee), four pizza's from Little Ceasars and Kool-aid that we already had. I used brown paper lunch sacks, that I already had, for the goody bags and glued Autobot and Decepticon faces on them. I made a birthday cupcake tower for his birthday cake. I think I spent about $50 for this birthday party.

Best part, JA and his friends had a blast! It was fun to visit with the parents from his school class. This birthday party was a success!

0 comments: