Marriage break through

Is break through one word or two? Can't remember.

Anyhoo! I feel like we've been making some progress in our marriage and I'm starting to feel better. We've been going to a counselor for some weeks now and up until our last meeting everything was just so-so. We really started to take a deeper look into why we chose to marry eachother. The qualities and common goals that lead us to choose eachother. I've been so busy feeling inadequate, unworthy, and small in this marriage that it was sort of struggle for me to find the good qualities about me. But I've found some.

The quality that I admire in my husband is that he is a great example to me. He's always been the teacher in our marriage. And our marriage has been on big learning adventure for me and I don't think it'll ever stop being that way. I'm okay with that. But maybe you can see why I've felt like I brought nothing to the marriage. It's kind of hard when you feel like you have to be the teacher and your student isn't benefitting from anything your teaching. Then you start thinking that you're the dud in the relationship.

So I've started to think of us in a different way. Our relationship dynamic is that he's the teacher, I'm the student. Wow! I know this may seem simple to other couples, but this is huge for me. I have now only to be greatful for the man that I married. He has taught many think that I don't think I would've otherwise learned in another relationship. This leaves me in a wonderful, unique position. I have been in pursuit of things that I can do to show my hubby how much I love him, but I can't reciprocate with the kind of gifts that he gives me. Roses and chocolate spontaneously brought home totally earn brownie points! However, my man's not a roses and chocolate kind of guy. So what do teachers love from their students? When they do their homework? Duh! It hit me that I can quit all the inner murmuring and focus on all these wonderful things he's taught me and start applying them. Wow, that's a change of heart in a way. Maybe now things will feel more real from me for him. Feeling a lot better today.